User blog:Thantosiet/Neptune's Stepchild Episode 1 Script
Okay, I've drafted and tweaked and brainstormed, and I think I've got something ready to show to people. But before I film anything, I'd like to get some feedback, both to see if there's any interest in a show like this, and if there's anything I can improve now. The reason I'm coming here first is that I'd love to hear from people who've already made mermaid shows of their own and know what is and isn't doable. Basically, I'm asking you to be beady-eyed, picky and mean right now, so that if/when I actually film the show, it'll be as good as I can possibly make it. On that note, if anyone wants to read through the entire series script (10 episodes, all about this length) and tell me what they think, I'd be happy to send it over. So nobody gets confused, (beat) means a pause in speaking. Episode 1: Lost and Found FADE IN: INT. - CORA’S ROOM - DAY CORA paces back and forth in her room, holding a phone to her ear. CORA Hello? Yeah, Janice, hi, it's Cora Erskine. I was calling to ask when I should come in for my first schedule? She fingers a flimsy, but battered nametag with the logo of an aquarium on it:'' Hello, my name is Cora.'' CORA A meeting? Why? Her expression changes to concern. CORA It's okay, I can take bad news over the phone. (Beat) Yeah, Marcus told me about the budget cuts last season. Her hand closes over the nametag, slowly crushing it. CORA I thought...I mean, I've been working here for almost two years, I thought I'd qualify for full-time by now. (beat) Yeah, I know that doesn't count as official training. It's—it's okay, I understand. She tries to smile. CORA We need to give some of those volunteers a chance, after all. (Beat) I'd love to, but, y'know, I'm going to need to find a new job. If I get the chance, you bet I'll volunteer. (Beat) No, really, it's okay. Uh-huh. Bye. Cora hangs up, spins around and throws the crumpled nametag away. She drops into a chair with a groan, head in her hands. CORA Fantastic. First the plumbing backs up, then I get moths in the pantry, and now this? This is going to be an amazing summer. With a weary sigh, she sits up, kicks off her shoes, and turns on her computer. CORA Well, I'm going to have a lot more free time now. Might as well check on the mermaid fanatics; they're always good for a laugh. Cora goes online, and scrolls through a forum. CORA (reading aloud; mimicking) Im a mermaid reallly no tuh KIDding I have a gold tail and powerzzz of ice water n fire—how many exclamation points? (Counts) Five. Man, if you'd just used one, I wouldn't buy it, but those extra four really prove you're serious. She continues scrolling through the site, and pauses at a new profile. MermaidMiranda. CORA Huh. Looks almost sane, for once. Guess we’ll have to test that. She types "Hi, im a mermaid 2, what powers do u have? I have fire,ice,and disapear from 1 placea nd appear in another." She has to go back and insert the chatspeak. MIRANDA (typed) I don't have powers like that. If someone has my tail I have to obey them and I can sense weather changes sometimes but no superpowers. ;) CORA Creative. That's something, anyway. (In fangirlish voice, saying aloud as she types.) Lol how can some1 have ur tail? Does it come off? She waits for the response, and is surprised. CORA (reading aloud) Yes, I can take it off whenever I want—I store it in a seashell most of the time. Cora’s intrigued—but her expression switches to pain, and she clutches her head. EXT. - FOREST - DAY Black-and-white flashback to Cora holding a seashell, and pulling out a tail like the one described. INT. - CORA’S HOUSE - DAY Cora looks bewildered. CORA What…? (She types and reads aloud rapidly, forgetting to add in any mistakes) How did you come up with that? MIRANDA (typing) I didn't make it up. EXT. - UNDERWATER - DAY Cora has another flashback, this time of swimming in the tail. INT. - CORA’S HOUSE - DAY CORA Then where did you get it? Because it (she hesitates) seems really familiar to me. MIRANDA (typing) Familiar? Cora gives her head an angry shake. CORA (typing) Never mind. After a moment of silence, MermaidMiranda types again. MIRANDA This kind of tail can be lost or damaged, and that can give the mermaid amnesia about it, but never all the way. EXT. - SHORE – DAY Another flashback strikes of Cora swimming. INT. - CORA’S HOUSE - DAY Back in the present, Cora mutters under her breath, wincing and holding her head. She hears a strange humming noise, and looks around. The humming seems to be coming from a pile of junk in the corner. Cora frowns, and then shakes her head. CORA This is ridiculous. MIRANDA Hello? CORA (typing) I'm still here. You didn't answer my question: where did you get this stuff? She sits back and waits. MIRANDA When I got old enough, my Dad told me. He’s a merman. Are you ok? The humming is still going. CORA (typing) I'm fine. MIRANDA Where did you hear about it? CORA (typing as she speaks, irritated) Don't remember. A movie or something. I have a headache, I don't feel like answering a ton of questions right now! MIRANDA You don't hear a weird humming noise, do you? Cora stares, thoroughly creeped out. She logs off very quickly and sits back, covering her eyes, and then her ears. The noise won't stop. Cora glares in irritation at the heap of junk. CORA Probably a cricket or something. Getting up, she walks over to the pile and begins pulling stuff off. Eventually, she reveals a chest, which the humming seems to be coming from. She pulls it out of the mess, crouches and opens it. Slowly, Cora pulls out a shredded, slashed and bloodstained tail. The humming noise finally stops. CORA . . . Guess it's going to be an amazing summer after all. TITLE CARD Next time . . . FADE IN: EXT. - WOODS – DAY A quiet humming fills the air. We pan slowly around towards a rock formation. Close-up shot of a dirty pair of hands, working speedily on a scaly piece of fabric. The humming is louder now. Standing, the stranger unfurls the fabric and shakes it out, revealing a tail. TITLE CARD “The Tailweaver” Category:Blog posts Category:Neptune's Stepchild